After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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