I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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