Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
