I'm drive I can fine osifer
My pussy is not your playground.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
