Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
