you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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