After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
