if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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