But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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