I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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