I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
