Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
