my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
