she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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