I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize