these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
