She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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