is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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