no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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