I have demons in me.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
