Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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