Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
