oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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