at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
