This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just want nice things and good sex
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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