how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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