We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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