happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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