I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
