So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
