Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize