if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
