I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize