Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Who died my cat blue again?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
