I haven't been this sober since birth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize