In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
