I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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