His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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