My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
