so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
