Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
