i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
