it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
