is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
