Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
