I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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