My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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