Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl

(313): View more from Michigan

you mean his girlfriend

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(802): View more from Vermont

Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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(256): View more from Alabama

It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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(661): View more from California

aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet

(623): View more from Arizona

And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs

(661): View more from California

Exactly.

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(705): View more from Ontario

She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.

(905): View more from Ontario

I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.

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(212): View more from New York

the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with

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(740): View more from Ohio

I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

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(310): View more from California

I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.

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