Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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