I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
