it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
