i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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