he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
