And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
