he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
