My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
3 2 1 whiskey
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
