You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
