ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Even the bartender felt bad for me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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