i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
