I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
