we're blogging at a bar
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
