he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
