I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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