The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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