found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
