i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Congratulations! We have a period
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