I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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