did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
