I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
